How to Stand Firm in a Chaotic World

Beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living within that way of life. - Hunter S Thompson

I started the latest issue of my Shadow & Star newsletter by saying:

“Everywhere you look and everyone you listen to has the same message:
The sky is falling.”

In that same newsletter, I promised a longer, more in-depth look at what it takes to remain sane in a world that profits from manufacturing fear.

So here we go.

When the Old Map Stops Working

I recently returned from my annual walkabout through the Great American Southwest — a multi-thousand-mile sojourn through several states, deliberately set aside to take stock of where I am in my life: my purpose, my meaning, my reason for being.

This year, I got a surprise.

When I began my usual “project management” approach — what goals did I set last year, how are they going, what do I need to change — it all fell flat. I didn’t feel the usual spark of excitement, the rush of accomplishment, the call of a new year full of possibilities.

In fact, I didn’t feel much of anything.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care. It was that my actions no longer felt aligned in a meaningful way — as though I didn’t even want to reach the destination I had originally chosen.

And I barely left my room for two days.

In Sedona, no less.

I want to be clear: I wasn’t depressed. I hadn’t given up. My drive to help people find purpose and well-being was as strong as ever.

Something bigger had changed.

Pulling Over

Imagine you’re delivering an important package in a busy, unfamiliar city. You’re keeping up with traffic, watching the road and the map at the same time, trying not to miss a turn.

Then, suddenly, your nav screen goes blank at seventy miles per hour.

You don’t keep careening through Dallas or Los Angeles or Boston or Bangkok.

You pull over.

Because sometimes you have to stop moving to know how to move forward.

So I pulled over on the highway of my life — and tried to troubleshoot the map.

All I knew was that I could no longer see it.

The Question Behind the Questions

I believe in intuition. In focus. In writing through blocks. I meditate and then journal about what I learn — a process I smilingly call “journitation.”

So I walked. I hiked. I stayed quiet. I removed distractions.

Eventually, the process worked; something surfaced.

It wasn’t the goal that had changed, the motivation to help people find purpose and wellbeing.

The map hadn’t changed.

The driver had.

And suddenly the real question wasn’t:
Where am I going? 
Am I doing this right? 
Am I making progress?

It was simpler and deeper:

Who am I?

Know Thyself (Without the Philosophy)

Don’t turn this into a metaphysical rabbit hole.

This is the most grounded, pragmatic question of all:

Who, really, are you?

What do you value — even if it conflicts with expectations?

To what would you devote yourself, if you had all of the resources in the world, and needed nothing?

What actions would you take, if no one else ever knew about them?

What do you enjoy, even if it’s not popular?

What is your personal style — the way you dress and speak and move and love?

What do you believe, even if you could never know (because we can never know most of it), in the absence of the expectations, remonstrations and repercussions of any system, human, or deity?

When you silence the noise of others and think honestly…

What remains?

The Hard Part: Living It

We all need to recenter sometimes. It is important to regularly assess who we are, because we change, over time.

You must know who you are, to know what you are willing to do.

That’s the hard part: the action.

Once you glimpse your authentic self, you have to live in accordance with it. Otherwise, all that meditation and journitation is, at best, a thought exercise.

At worst, it’s a lie.

And when your actions align with who you truly are, something unexpected happens:

You hit bedrock; a steadiness that holds even when the world doesn’t.

Why Authenticity Reduces Anxiety (The Science)

This isn’t speculation.

Clinical psychology consistently shows that values-congruent behavior lowers stress reactivity. When you live out of alignment with yourself, anxiety increases. When your actions reflect your chosen values, distress decreases.

Positive psychology shows something similar: eudaimonic well-being — purpose, coherence, and self-authorship — predicts life satisfaction and resilience far better than achievement metrics.

In plain English:

Chasing external goals makes you fragile.
Living authentically makes you durable.

This is especially true for life-phase transitioners — empty nesters, reinvention seekers, anyone asking “what now?”

When your true identity is uncertain, fear gets louder.

Algorithms amplify it.

 News monetizes it. 

Culture rewards urgency.

It becomes easy to chase external trends and opinions just to feel anchored.

But the only stable anchor is internal; your authentic self.

The message is clear. To gain immunity from chaos and manufactured fear:

Stop chasing goals and design your own life.

Ground yourself in what you actually value.

Let the noise burn itself out.

Take time to recenter:

Know who you are and create a clear vision of how you want to live. Then act accordingly, even if it involves—sometimes radical—change.

My novel, The Calling is available now in print and as an eBook.


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To learn more about working with me or having me speak to your group, go to the Jeff W Welsh website, subscribe to my Substack or Medium accounts or the Hardcore Happiness blog page, and follow my Instagram account for daily insights.

- JWW