What does it mean to protect your peace?

It’s not all about sitting in the lotus position, channeling your bliss.
The path frequently entails sacrifice and loss, and it always requires awareness. What you don’t see can definitely hurt you.

You must be intentionally conscious of the people, places, and things that enhance your life, as well as those that bring unwanted anxiety. Then exercise the discipline to act accordingly.

Ultimately, the quest to protect your peace is an ever-changing dance of balance—a cost–benefit analysis of what you have and what you want, who you are and who you want to become.

What Do You Want?

You can’t protect your peace if you can’t define it. Each person has a different definition of peace, and that’s OK. Your definition of peace may change over time, as you change—and that’s also OK.

What isn’t OK is going on a crusade to protect your peace when you haven’t really thought about what that means.

This step has consequences. Some of those consequences may be permanent. Take the time to carefully think about what makes your life better. Write those things down.

Make a detailed, comprehensive list. Include “big” things and “little” things.

My list includes “big” things, such as a rigorous pursuit of my chosen purpose and spending time with carefully selected, proven friends and family. It also includes “little” things like sitting by a river or finding the best vantage point from which to watch a sunset.

I have come to realize that the little things sometimes have the biggest impact on my well-being and happiness.

Do your best to carefully consider what peace looks like for you in your current, real-world setting. Because once you commit, you will have to live with the results.

Consider your job, your commute, your career path, where you live, your material possessions, your financial situation, your relationships… you get the idea. Leave no stone unturned.

Above all, be sure that your decisions are your own. This is not the time to acquiesce to the expectations of your parents or caretakers, your significant other, clergy, elected officials, or any other such “authority figures.”

Ask yourself: Who has to live my life?

What Does It Cost?

This is the cost–benefit analysis.

Protecting your peace frequently becomes a “pick your battles” scenario. It may not bring you peace to commute through morning traffic every day. But having food and a roof over your head is certainly more peaceful than the alternative.

And consider time. It is usually the case that the road to a more peaceful, satisfying, and healthy life is uncomfortable and inconvenient—even difficult—in the short term, in order to secure long-term well-being.

Humans possess the ability to delay gratification—to wait for, and work toward, better things in the future.

Few things in life are as satisfying as fighting the good fight now in order to have peace later.

What Can You Do?

There may be meaningful steps you could take to protect your peace that aren’t yet doable.

You need the wisdom to know what isn’t possible, the grace to accept the parts of your life that aren’t changeable, and the discipline to change what can be changed. (If that sounds familiar, great—you get the concept.)

Don’t be fooled into thinking that your present circumstance is the only one possible. That’s fear of the unknown talking.

Jobs, locations, and financial situations are transitory and can be changed as needed. Move when you need to move.

A Specific Case: Relationships

People—including friends and family—play a significant role in your personal peace. Some enhance your peace, and time spent with them is time well spent.

Some people are good in certain circumstances. Limit your time with them to those circumstances.

Other people once enhanced your happiness and well-being but do no longer. People (including you) change.

Others were never a positive influence. It’s more than OK to remove those people from your life; in fact, it may be necessary for your health and sanity.

This step may sound harsh or selfish, but it is actually self-preservative. My personal experience is filled with examples of people whose lives have been damaged—sometimes irreparably—by continually trying to be the “nice guy” to those who did not deserve their kindness.

I wish I could say these cases were isolated or rare. They are not.

In the specific case of family and friends, discernment is key. Cutting someone out of your life, especially someone who was once close to you, is not a trivial matter.

But when they show you who they are—with their actions, not their words or promises—believe them.

In business, we say, “Slow to hire, quick to fire.” The same applies here. When people become unchangeably inconsiderate or disruptive, when they betray you, cut your losses and move on.

In cases where toxic people are blood-related, the best you can do may be to keep them at arm’s length as much as possible.

None of this advice is meant to be isolationist (although it may feel that way at times), just mindful and cautious.

Not everyone wants to be your friend.

The Path Is Steep

Everyone wants to enjoy the view from the top of the mountain, but few are willing to endure the pain of the climb.

There are two things I can guarantee when you decide to protect your peace:

First: it’s going to hurt.

Second: it will be more than worth it.

We accumulate a great many things as we traverse the landscape of life.
We pick up material possessions, relationships, habits good and bad. Some of what we gather is mindfully curated and intentional. Some of our “stuff” (a precise psychological term) is completely accidental. We aren’t even aware of the majority of what we carry.

All of it—conscious and otherwise—can be divided into three camps:

- That which serves us and must be protected at all costs
- That which served us for a time but is no longer needed or healthy
- That which was bad for us from the beginning and urgently needs to be jettisoned

Non-Negotiable

Once you have identified what you need to have peace in your life, the only path forward is complete commitment to making the necessary changes. As always, action is the only thing that matters.

You don’t need permission, and you don’t need to make excuses.

Most importantly, your judgment doesn’t have to be—can’t be—perfect.

But your peace is a serious matter and demands your best due diligence. Think carefully about what you want to keep in your life and what you need to let go of. Commit to your best decisions, and move forward.

May peace be with you.



My novel, The Calling is available now in print and as an eBook.


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To learn more about how to use these concepts or to inquire about working with me, go to the Jeff W Welsh website, subscribe to my Substack or Medium accounts or the Hardcore Happiness blog, and follow my Instagram account for daily insights.




- JWW