I would never think to tell anyone how to live; that is a concept as individual as you and as malleable as water.

What I do have is a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for thoughts and habits that keep you from realizing your actual purpose and potential. Skills you can use to help craft your best life.

What You Want

I realize that part of that last paragraph is already…Taken. But let’s get real.

When I ask people what they want, the initial response usually includes more money. Right after that comes a better body, a better car or house, maybe more power or a PJ or yacht. And then comes a long list, usually of stuff; watches and purses and shoes and jet skis and…

With a bit more thought, the conversation almost always reveals a deeper layer.

What lies beneath the status and bling, the fame and fortune, is a desire for freedom. What’s better than Rolex, Prada, Bombardier or even bitcoin? The ability to have and do whatever you want.

When you board your custom-painted Gulfstream G800 jet, you have to decide where it goes. What’s the fun of private air travel unless you can choose the destination? And so it goes with all the “first order” things we think we want: they are merely means to an end. And that end is to do what we want, when we want, with whomever we choose. Freedom.

But we can go even deeper.

When you think about it, or perhaps experience it (lucky you), freedom is also a means to an end. Imagine you have the elusive magic trio: money, time and health. That is unquestionably the recipe for freedom.

And that freedom leads very quickly to an ecstatically liberating/existentially terrifying question:

Now what?

What to Do

When you can do anything you want, what do you do? What should you do?

The answer demands some mindful introspection. There is one thing that we all want and no one can get: more time. Money, power, fame and status are all time-limited. Everything is temporary. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote one of my favorite lines for Gandalf; one sentence that perfectly encapsulates this most-important-of-all question:

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

At the end of the existential day, all you have—all you are—is your thoughts. When you meditate in the Dolomites or lounge on a Tahitian beach, what you enjoy is your experience of the event.

You are not the sand, nor the sun; not the mountain or the creek with its burbling water. You are the consciousness that interprets the experience, assigns meaning and emotion, and then files away the memories you create.

So now, when you ponder how best to live, the answer is simple yet never completely fulfilled:

Live in the manner that enables you to pursue your purpose, and do that to the best of your ability with every day you are given.

You would do well to define purpose as energy expended in the service of experiences that you feel are the most satisfying, most fulfilling. Take this seriously. Pursuit of purpose is no less than the reason you are here; it is the best use of your time and the only reliable aim for your mindset.

When you contemplate your purpose—the best use of your limited energy and time—do it with resolve:

Never Give Up.

Never Give In.

Never Settle.

What You Don’t Want

We live in a time of too many choices. Too many channels on cable, too many series on Netflix; likewise social media platforms, influencers, commercials, opinions.

There’s a reason Internet celebrities are called “influencers”—their explicit aim is to influence your thought. They are their own commercials, and they sell their lifestyles and wares with a ruthless efficiency that puts Madison Avenue advertising firms to shame.

And therein lies the danger: we consume so much of their “content" that we might begin to mistake their copywriting for our own thoughts. In our current information-saturated world, a great part of deciding how to live involves cutting out thoughts that are not our own.

When you define your life purpose—that which gives your life its deepest meaning—focus your attention and intention on what you don’t want, as well. Take time to discern which thoughts and opinions are not yours, no matter how many times you hear them. Avoid disturbing images that add to your anxiety but do nothing to enrich your experience of life. Maybe cut back your doom-scrolling and instead get outside. Here’s a related, oft-repeated snippet of life advice:

Protect your peace, at all costs.

Life comes with authentic, unavoidable tragedy, sadness, and fear. Do your best to not waste a precious minute of it consumed by someone else’s drama. Save your energy for those experiences that are aligned with your purpose. Live your life so that you run towards joy, not away from fear.

Above all, don’t live on autopilot. Try not to let yourself become so tired, so overwhelmed by overload that you just “go with the flow.” All that flow is headed down the gutter to the nearest drain. Let the moments of your life proceed as a product of your mindset and in the direction of your best life, your purpose.

How To Live

When you think about how to live your life (and you should think about it!), consider the interplay between these three elements:

Mindset is the lens through which you view the world, and the filter that allows you to choose your actions and thereby influence your future. Set your mind with your full presence and intention. You get to choose how you feel and what you think.

Purpose is the result of the thoughts and actions you take. Your purpose is both informed by your mindset and informs it as well. Reread the definition above and take the time to set your course as you see fit.

Happiness is the product of an intentionally chosen mindset and action in service of your purpose. These critical life choices will not happen by accident or solely from the advice of others, no matter how well-meaning. Be hardcore about your happiness. It takes energy and discipline to live your best life.

I wish you great success on the ever-changing, narrow yet beautiful path of your life. Do the work, reap the rewards, and Create Your World.



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To learn more about how to use these concepts or to inquire about working with me, you can contact me on the Hardcore Happiness website, the comments section on my Substack or Medium accounts or the Hardcore Happiness blog page. If you have found value in this article, follow my Instagram account for daily insights, or my X account for occasional tweets. To support this community, you can Buy Me A Coffee or donate through my Patreon account.

- JWW