I Went Full “Grind & Grit” for 90 Days. Here’s What Happened.
Jan 10, 2026
What allostatic load taught me about ambition, burnout, and the hidden cost of high performance.
I have been a CEO three times, a college president twice, built and ran a multi-million dollar, multiple-site brick-and-mortar business in a tough environment, been through Ph.D. school, twice. All the while being a husband and father to three kids. I know what it means to focus and produce.
For the last several years (and not for the first time), I have been a “solopreneur”—basically doing everything in my business by myself.
I love it. I don’t do well with “bosses,” and I am confident and experienced enough to trust my instincts and analysis and act on my initiatives. I know the risk and reward of taking all the responsibility and doing all the work, and I wouldn’t trade it for a more “secure” (i.e. low output, low reward) lifestyle.
I have soared triumphantly and crashed, mightily.
About 90 days ago, I decided on an end-of-the-year, full-on, Hail Mary drive to wrap all the projects I meant to complete in 2025 and get moving on the 2026 vision.
I edited, formatted, designed a cover and published a novel. Got it distributed, did book signings. Great reviews; book clubs started around it. I completely revamped and redesigned my website - copy, graphics, video, editing, functionality, UI/UX - the whole thing (by myself, of course, ‘cause that’s how I roll). I started a short fiction publication on Medium and produced a blog article for my website, Substack and Medium every week, along with (mostly) daily Instagram Reels. I started a major, final rewrite for a non-fiction book that has been 5 years in the making, and designed, funded and ran several new marketing campaigns (‘cause, business).
All while traveling almost continuously since Thanksgiving (it’s January 10 as I write this, for future reference) through four Western US states for the holidays to visit my scattered family (kids are long grown now).
Today I am sat in a coffee shop (my usual creative haunt) in one of the most beautiful locations in the Western United States; the view from where I sit is—no hyperbole—breathtaking. Laptop is open, caffeine is circulating, life is good.
And I got nothing.
I’m not talking about blank-page, cursor-blinking “writer’s block.” I mean, I. Got. Nothing. No drive, no desire, not sad, just…grey.
The clinical psychologist in me recognizes the flat affect, the anhedonia. And I know what happened.
Grind-bro culture aside, we all have a limited capacity to deal with stress. Yes, the distance to the wall varies from person to person, with age and fitness, with diet and sleep changes. But for every person (turn, turn, turn), there is a threshold (turn, turn turn).
We—the people who love to coin obfuscating technical terms—call it allostatic load.
In a nutshell, once you burn through all your dopamine and your nervous system can no longer pro-actively and predictively plan for and respond to stress (allostasis), all the chemicals-with fancy-names that make you healthy go out of whack. Then your mental status crashes. Keep it up, and chronic physical illness beckons.
And the results can be permanent.
This is the part people don’t generally understand. The burn-and-churn, then recover cycle is how most high-functioning folks operate. Overdo it? Just chill for a bit and hit it again.
But our best understanding is that stress is cumulative.
Keep this up for too long, stress outpacing recovery, and allostatic load sets in. Not just “I’m tired,” but total physiologic decompensation. Think immune system crashing, hypertension, coronary heart disease, increase in all-cause mortality.
TLDR: This will kill you.
So, instead of writing what I planned to write, I figured I would give you a peek into the downside of a high-performance life. A cautionary tale about the possible flip side of accomplishment unbridled.
Yes, I’m the guy who consistently preaches Pursue Your Purpose and Create Your World, but also Protect Your Peace and maintain your health, physical and mental.
There is an old belief known as the “limited heartbeat theory,” that says everyone has a specific number of heartbeats for a lifetime. Use ‘em up and you’re done. The theory has been thoroughly dispelled, but it’s not a bad model to consider when you evaluate your stress/recovery balance.
That’s it; that’s all for now folks. I’m gonna take a break and eat something good.
The work will still be here when my nervous system comes back online.
See you next week.
My novel, The Calling is available now in print and as an eBook.
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To learn more about how to use these concepts or to inquire about working with me, go to the Jeff W Welsh website, subscribe to my Substack or Medium accounts or the Hardcore Happiness blog page, and follow my Instagram account for daily insights.
- JWW
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