Observation is the first step in learning.

We become aware of something visually, emotionally or through some other combination of senses, thought and intuition.

That experience becomes an observation that leads our cognition somewhere:

“I wonder where that road goes?”
“Is that a major seventh chord?”
“What happens when we die?”

It is sometimes enough to simply observe, without establishing correlation or attempting to infer causation. Life need not always be—in many cases can’t be—subject to scientific rigor.

To set the scene: nearly seven decades in, I am but one human wandering around taking notes on the species, while acknowledging that I’m one of the specimens.

Here, in no particular order, are a few field notes on my experience of the human condition; on what has, on reflection, been a happy life, despite eras of spectacularly tragic loss.

On Freedom

Freedom isn’t gained by accumulating stuff.

It is a result of mindfully shedding thoughts, actions and situations that keep you trapped. In this regard, less is the direct path to more.

Your biggest obstacle, your greatest foe, isn’t your race or your financial situation. It’s not where you were born or your job or your family or your gender. 

It’s your undisciplined mind.

It is important to learn to focus on what you want instead of what bothers you.

Once you begin to think differently, you must translate those new, freer thoughts into new behaviors. Take bold action in the direction of your goals. Do it now:

If you think it is expensive to move, wait till you find out how much it costs to stay stuck.

Avoid the temptation to let your desire for social parity lock you into indentured servitude.

Experience how liberating it is to realize that you don’t owe anybody anything. Be what you want. Do what you want.

Relax and fully enjoy the things that actually improve your existence.

On Anxiety

Anxiety is the price of consciousness.

It is not merely a pathology to be medicated into submission. It is a messenger with a crucial missive that can lead you to the promised land.

You can learn to decode its encrypted communications: Identify situations that cause you anxiety, discover what it is about the situations that makes you anxious, and then dissect those situations into their constituent fears.

The resolution of anxiety comes from taking action to confront, eliminate, move through—or live with—the life situations that spawned and sustain those fears.

To live authentically, you must confront your demons. To know your demons, dissect your anxiety. This is part of the integration of the Shadow archetype that C. G. Jung so brilliantly described.

Relax and realize that anxiety, when managed through understanding, is your ally.

On Happiness

True, sustainable happiness requires effort (this is the central thesis of my Hardcore Happiness project).

Drop the baggage. Lose the fear and doubt and shame that preoccupies your mind and keeps you from being present in each passing moment. We weren’t put here to be afraid.

Fill your life with so much gratitude and optimism and intention that there is no room for doubt and fear.

Remember that it is necessary to practice this attitude of positivity every day. A sustainable happiness mindset won’t happen by itself, by thinking once about it and moving on. You don’t build your body by going to the gym once. You can’t learn to play the piano in one session. Why would you expect to develop your mind without practice? 

Allow yourself to use what I call Positive Opposites: When a troubling thought or mindset arises, intentionally consider that the opposite may be true:

What if people are actually thinking good thoughts about you?
What if others really want to help you achieve your goals?
What if the universe is actually conspiring on your behalf?

Being worried about what other people think of you is a sign of low self-esteem, that you have devalued yourself in your mind. If you’re really being your best self, who cares if they like you or not?

If people don’t like the best you, they’re not your people. Find your tribe.

Stop ruminating.

This comes up so frequently—almost universally—and always has, with my clients and students, and friends and family for that matter.

If you find it difficult to stop bringing up unfortunate events from the past and endlessly turning them over in your head, get outside, start a gratitude journal, join a community that is supportive, talk to somebody.

This effort, this practice, will free up your mental energy to help you fully experience the greatest gift that you have: the gift of consciousness.

Give without expectation of return.

Know that your best deeds—your greatest sacrifices, your noblest gestures of kindness—are best done from a place of compassion, not an expectation of reciprocity, reward, or even loyalty.

Some of the people to whom you give the most will ignore you, abandon you, betray you.

This is not cause to become cynical and withdrawn, it is a reason to realistically calibrate your motivation.

Give of yourself because it’s the right thing to do—because it genuinely makes you happy—and expect nothing in return.

Your responsibility ends with your good action. Others’ responses are not your concern.

Live your life in pursuit of purpose.

Your purpose is the overarching goal you have chosen to give your life meaning.

Do whatever you do with all of your attention and intention:

When you work, work with passion.
When you play, play with your whole soul.
When you relax, relax completely.
When you eat, eat without distraction.
When you travel, fully savor the world.
When you love, love without fear.

Pay attention to your life as it progresses: this is the way to slow the experience of time.

Relax and remember: It’s OK for everything to be OK.

Other Observations

Your relationships—personal, romantic, professional—will improve when you understand that everybody wants to feel understood.

Perfection is an excuse to enable procrastination. Procrastination is a manifestation of fear.

Character is not demonstrated by the words that you say or the banners that you carry, but rather your daily habits of action.

No one is coming to save you. Take full and complete responsibility for your life.

Relax and know that some days, all you can do is show up. And that is enough.




Read my recent interview with Dr. Mehmet Yildiz here.

My novel, The Calling is available now in print and as an eBook.


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To learn more about how to use these concepts or to inquire about working with me, visit the Jeff W Welsh website, subscribe to my Substack or Medium accounts or the Hardcore Happiness blog page, and follow my Instagram account for regular insights.

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- JWW