Ask people what they really want, and you will find that there are two main principles that underlie their initial list of material stuff: love and freedom. Both are important for long-term, sustainable happiness, but love deserves its own discussion. For now, let’s discuss what to do when you finally get freedom.

Much to Do About Freedom

The conversation generally goes something like this:

“What do you want?”

“More money.”

“Why do you want more money?”

“So I can quit this job that I hate.”

“What would you do if you quit the job that you hate?”

“Whatever I want. I want to be able to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it.”

“But what would you actually do, if you could quit your job?”

“I want to be able to just sit on the beach. Or travel whenever I want.”

The conversation comes to an abrupt halt in many cases, when we get to this question:

“After you have sat on the beach, after you have traveled; what about the rest of your life? If you finally had freedom, what would you do with it?”

There are a couple of reasons that this last question is so problematic. For generations, we have been taught that the path through life follows a prescribed pattern: go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, save your money, and one day retire. And the conversation ends there, as though nothing follows the end of your primary career.

There are other paths, of course. You may have gained your freedom sooner, by inheritance, luck, or great planning (or all three), but regardless of how you achieve it, when you finally escape the indentured servitude of the 40-hour work week, you arrive at the base question: “What now?“

Correct Your Vision

The first issue is that we were simply never trained to think about it. From a young age, we are taught that we should do well in school and get a good career and be careful with our money, but no one ever really discussed what to do afterwards. For those who don’t take any of that advice seriously and end up living month-to-month in a job they don’t like, their dream may be to “win the lottery.” In the extremely unlikely event that someone does win a lottery, it can ruin their life and they frequently end up broke in a short period of time.

Because they never realistically considered what to do, if and when they finally gain freedom.

Education and support can remedy the first issue, although it will take time. People can learn to realistically consider their options, and what it will actually take to achieve financial “escape velocity.“

It is the second issue that is far more problematic. You see it play out among the nouveau rich; children of celebrities, and young people who acquire too much material wealth too quickly. The destruction that follows is almost a cliché, at this point.

The second problem isn’t merely a lack of planning and knowledge—it is a lack of vision of what the future could be.

As always, the best solution begins with the right question. The common but tragically wrong question is, “If I had all the money in the world, what would I buy?“ The right question—the question you should ask yourself—requires more effort and thought:

“If I had real freedom, what would I be?“

Every serious discussion about sustainable happiness and well-being inevitably comes around to purpose. This most foundational of existential considerations is infinitely practical, because it informs the way you live, every day of your life. In a universe where your existence is seemingly meaningless, you can assign any meaning you can imagine. Put more simply:

You have the freedom to choose what you want to be; so what should you choose?

The Big Question

This is the big question: the biggest of them all. As we have discussed previously (and will discuss again), purpose is nothing less than the reason you are here. You have the freedom to choose any purpose you desire, but that freedom comes with considerable obligation and responsibility.

The meaning you choose for your life will determine your actions and, to a great extent, your course through life. Purpose is a major factor in your resilience, your happiness, your well-being, and to a great extent the well-being and happiness of those around you.

But this discussion isn’t really about how to choose a purpose; it’s about what happens once you have chosen.

Imagine: you have done the difficult but necessary work of envisioning a purpose for your life. You have written it down and planned it out and are now ready to get to work.

The danger here is that you may mistake your purpose for a goal. 

- A goal has a set, measurable end point, like getting your 10,000 steps in.

- A purpose—your meaning for being alive—is an ongoing project that guides the way you think and behave.

You can apply good project management skills (and you should), to the pursuit of your purpose, but there is usually no final milestone. In fact, if there is a definable conclusion to the purpose you have chosen, it is incumbent upon you to choose another purpose and continue on. Here’s an example:

Goal: Get my children enrolled in the best school in the neighborhood. 

Purpose: Create a supportive but challenging family environment, so that my children develop self-reliance and resilience as they launch into adulthood. 

Goal: Finish my master’s degree in psychology. 

Purpose: Gain the knowledge, skills, and experience necessary to be able to help people on their own journey towards self-fulfillment and happiness.

Give it Some Thought

Purpose is something to be lived, not achieved. One of the hallmarks of a well-chosen purpose is that it guides the way you behave. This change establishes a new mindset. When you commit to your stated purpose, you reference it in all of your daily life actions.

Let’s say you decide to take a vacation in Maui this year. This is clearly a goal and not a purpose; it is a short term project with a specific end date and an event that effectively ends the project.

This kind of short-term goal is laudable and desirable, but be careful: it can backfire. In your quest to get enough money fast enough to vacation in Hawaii, you may end up working many more hours than you usually do, or taking on a second or third job. This can do massive damage to your health, your emotional stability, and your relationships. In your quest to achieve your goal in the timeline you have set for yourself, you may even allow yourself to engage in activities that you would not otherwise normally undertake, and they may undermine your self-respect and your self-esteem. But yes, you may get to Maui this year.

Now imagine that your purpose is to be a great parent: you will consider your thoughts and behaviors every day, in that light. You will find it necessary to take care of your physical health, so that you can actively partake in your children’s lives. You will have to work to find a balance between earning an income and being available as a parent, so that your children grow with a sense of safety and stability; so that they learn to trust. 

This is not a moral or value judgment, it is basic human psychology: you are more likely to stick with a course of thought and action that makes you feel good about yourself and others in the long-term.

You are free to choose any purpose you want, of course, and I could not possibly imagine what your purpose might be. But to stick with it, it has to be something that feels satisfying, and that your intuition tells you is the right thing to do.

Aim High(er)

Here is my earnest advice, from a lifetime of wrestling with these concepts:

When you define your meaning—what you stand for, how you will behave—envision the absolute highest good that you can imagine.

There are a couple of reasons for this.

When you choose a purpose for yourself that you deem to be noble and worthy, each day that you spend in pursuit of that purpose will reward you with a sense of satisfaction and well-being. This is because your purpose encompasses all of your other actions; everything you do will be in alignment with your stated purpose, when you commit to it.

The second reason to choose the highest purpose you can imagine is because of the resilience you will gain. In any long-term endeavor, things are going to go wrong. These may be minor issues of frustration; when a delivery is delayed or a child gets in trouble at school, or you fall behind on the deadlines you have given yourself. It could be a major setback: the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, serious health issues with which you have to deal. 

When you are faced with challenge and sacrifice, it is massively helpful to know that the life meaning you have chosen encompasses more than just your immediate personal comfort. When your purpose is bigger than yourself, it will get you through the tough stuff. In short:

You are more likely to endure hardship if you are trying to make the world a better place than if you are saving up to buy a new TV.

Purpose is Process

When you live in alignment with the meaning that you have chosen for your life, you realize that purpose is process.

Pursuit of purpose is like a great hike in the hills: the joy and satisfaction comes along the way, not just at the end of the trail.

What’s important is not that you “complete” the purpose you have chosen for yourself, but rather that you are engaged in its pursuit every day, as a part of your authentic lifestyle.

And then you will have a clear picture of what to do when you finally get freedom. 



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- JWW