It’s a term we use to describe a very human situation in very psychological parameters.

Locus of control is just a fancy way to say, “To what degree are you in charge of your life?”

The phrase was coined by a psychologist named Julian Rotter in 1954. The concept continues to be relevant in discussions of genetics, epigenetics and personality.

At first, it seems pedantic, a simple determination—are you in control of your life or not—as though it is a true/false option, a multiple-choice question with only two answers.

Upon closer examination, locus of control becomes a tool that plays a significant role in your overall happiness and mental health.

Who’s In Control?

The categories of locus of control (the word “locus” means location) are operationally binary.

An external locus of control means that you feel that external forces shape your life, that things outside of your control happen to you.

An internal locus of control means that you feel that you are in charge of your life; that the things that happen are a result of your thoughts and actions.

This, again, appears at first glance to be a simple concept, not really worthy of much discussion: some stuff happens to you, and some stuff you can control.

But the story is much more profound.

To be clear, there are many facets of life over which you have no control. As far as anybody can tell, you didn’t choose the color of your eyes or how tall you are; you didn’t select your parents or the country of your birth.

You didn’t design your own genetic makeup, which influences so many factors that impact your life, from your physical form to your baseline happiness, IQ, your susceptibility—or resistance—to a whole catalog of diseases and ailments, and much more.

Because we are impacted by so many things that are truly outside of our control, it is easy to underestimate the amount of control we do have in the course of our lives.

There is a mindset, a series of thoughts and actions, that enables you to exist as more than the sum of a series of random accidents.

A Matter of Responsibility

The difference between people who have a more internal locus of control and those who don't is the extent to which they take personal responsibility for their lives.

The idea is simple: you can’t control things you are not responsible for.

Here’s a common dilemma:

Is the credit card company charging ridiculous, usurious interest rates (they are…)? How are you supposed to get ahead? They have the game rigged from the start…

The hard truth is that—excluding valid emergencies—you spent more money than you had. You decided to pay with credit instead of cash. Your desire for goods and services exceeded your disposable income.

Notice the shift in focus from “they” to “you.” This is the change from external (“they” did this to me) to internal (“I” charged more than I could afford) control.

What’s the difference? You took responsibility for the actions that resulted in your financial situation.

Here’s a more nuanced example:

“I can’t find a job; the system is designed to keep me down.”

In a token economy such as ours, your value is determined by your ability to produce something others can’t or don’t want to produce for themselves. I want a chicken. I don’t raise chickens. You do, so I will give you something you don’t have in exchange for a chicken. Like money.

What can you do that is valuable? Why should someone hire you? Maybe it’s not “the system” keeping you down (an external locus of control), but your lack of education, or experience in a trade that makes you unemployable, or at best kept to only entry-level jobs (an internal locus of control).

Here’s a more challenging situation to ponder:

“My significant other left me. I am crushed. I thought we had built something together, and now I’m alone.”

Maybe you could have acted differently and prolonged the relationship, but that’s not really the heart of the matter. Let’s assume you did nothing egregious to cause the breakup and, in any case, were just being yourself.

How is it possible to take responsibility for someone else’s actions?

You can’t.

But you can be responsible for how you respond, in thought and action.

It is true, in this scenario, that “they” did something to you that you didn’t like. Your choice now is to continue to give them control over your actions, your emotions, your happiness—or take the power back.

Pop quiz: Which of the following scenarios is going to bring you more happiness? Which reflects an internal locus of control and which represents an external locus?

A) “That jerk!” “What a total waste of time. I’m going to talk crap about them to everyone I know, and key their car, and egg their house…” and generally be miserable and act out.

B) “Wow, that hurt.” “I choose to be grateful for the good times we had together.” “I have decided to look forward to my freedom and future relationships instead of dwelling on the past.” “I take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. No one gets to make me act in ways I don’t choose.”

If you chose the option that didn’t result in gossip and jail time, you’re getting the point.

The Payoff

At this point you may be thinking, “All this responsibility stuff seems like a lot of work. It’s easier to just go with the masses and grouse about the “state of affairs” and talk crap about the people who have hurt me, and nod when my friends mourn the fact that things are “Going to hell in a hand-basket.”

Why intentionally take responsibility for other people’s decisions?

- When you choose an external locus of control, your worldview is that other people do things to you.

- This makes you feel like a victim.

- Victims feel powerless, because they can’t control what others do.

- People who feel powerless adopt a stance of entitlement, because they feel they aren’t responsible for their situations, so someone needs to take care of them.

- Entitled people are always disappointed by the fact that no one is coming to save them, so they become resentful.

- Resentful people become angry, and lash out at the forces that “did this to them” and the people and institutions that should be taking better care of them.

- Angry people are unhappy, and more prone to illness and isolation (‘cause who wants to hang with an angry person?).

When you take responsibility for everything—all that is within your control and your responses to those things that are not in your control—you take back your sovereign right to act and feel as you choose.

You choose to not remain a victim.

You choose to influence your own course of happiness.

You choose to do what it takes to resolve your own messes.

You choose to take the actions that result in a better life.

☩ ☩ ☩

You can’t control your past.

You can’t control other people.

But you can control your next reaction; your next decision. And the one after that.

Over time, those decisions become habits.

Habits become character.

Character becomes destiny.

Take responsibility.

Internalize your control.

Choose gratitude.

Choose purpose.

Choose happiness.



Read my recent interview with Dr. Mehmet Yildiz here.

My novel, The Calling is available now in print and as an eBook.


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To learn more about how to use these concepts or to inquire about working with me, visit the Jeff W Welsh website, subscribe to my Substack or Medium accounts or the Hardcore Happiness blog page, and follow my Instagram account for regular insights.




- JWW